On Thursday I went to a fantastic Corpus Christi service in a neighbouring parish. I don’t think I’ve been to one since my Little St Mary’s days in Cambridge.
I was brought up in a very non sacramental tradition, non-conformist, and somehow I knew something to be missing for me but had never had the experiences or the teaching to put a label to it. When I went to college I started doing the church trail in Cambridge and explored the length of the candle in the C of E, discovering why I liked what I did and how God was speaking to me. I loved heartfelt liturgical worship, and more and more the Eucharist became more important to me. I didn’t and still don’t have a physical Real Presence theology, but the words of the hymn sum it up ” Thou art here, we ask not how”.
I am immensely grateful for the chances I’ve had to explore all this. I feel really privileged to be equally comfortable in a New Wine marquee with charismatic evangelicals as in an incense filled church with my Anglo Catholic friends. The Spirit is still the same Spirit 
I joke sometimes that an ideal service is one where you can cross yourself and raise your hands in worship in the same meeting! Perhaps it’s not so much of a joke, and perhaps it’s not such a leap between the two either. The last weekend that I was in college I had several conversations about how both Anglo Catholic worship and Charismatic worship are experiential, they are rooted, both in the interface between something spiritual happening and something physical happening, whether that’s a sacrament or a physical expression of worship – and if a sacrament is as the old definition goes, and outward sign of invisible grace, then there is something sacramental too about physicality in worship, whatever your churchmanship. Perhaps?
I’m reading
at the moment ( click for detail) and finding it absolutely fascinating. I’ve been trying to tell people round me that modern and relevant doesn’t have to mean ditching the old, and this book is confirming that.
anyway – back to the Corpus Christi service! I’d had a tough week, essay writing and dealing with ” stuff” and God met me in that service in an amazing way – a way that yes I’d still probably associate more with New Wine or a big evangelical church, not clouds of incense and beautiful liturgy, but I’m still learning you see…
Corpus Christi and other thoughts
June 13, 2009 at 9:27 pm (Church, college, faith, journal)
My name is written on His hands
April 22, 2009 at 11:42 pm (college, drawing, faith)
Arise, my soul, arise; shake off thy guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice in my behalf appears:
Before the throne my surety stands,
Before the throne my surety stands,
My name is written on His hands.
Charles Wesley
I drew this in the final time of worship at Easter School, Holy Saturday. It was an image and a phrase that had been with me throughout Good Friday and I was itching to get it on paper,when art materials were provided as part of Saturday’s meditation.
I have a bit of a theme going with my name and the whole vocational discernment thing, I don’t think I’ve told the whole story here yet, but I will.
The verse Wesley alludes to in this hymn is Isaiah 49:16 I have engraved you on the palms of my hands and is referring to the nation of Israel, God’s faithfulness in remembering; and his promise to restore. I don’t think his faithfulness to me is any less
Easter School was great, a huge mix of stuff, from the sublime to the down right silly! I’m still processing most of it, so don’t expect too much sense on the subject just yet! It was a priviledge to live Holy Week with so many others, I missed eveyone on Easter Sunday, it felt strange not to be doing the celebrating together too, though it was lovely to be back with my family,both blood & church! Even in the sombre mood of Holy Week though, the empty tomb casts its light backwards, it’s impossible not to know how the story carries on, and important we don’t forget that even Good Friday is a celebration.
Foolish things
March 22, 2009 at 10:15 pm (faith)
1 Corinthians 1
18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
19 For it is written: ”I will destroy the wisdom of the wise;
the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”
20Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.
This passage has been in my mind a lot recent, and never more so than today. Jade Goody died early this morning, after a very public life and a very public dying. She has been mocked and villified for many things, foolishness and ignorance amongst them. In her last weeks, her profession of faith and her baptism might seem foolish to many; the last clutching at straws of a dying woman, but clinging to the cross is never foolish in God’s eyes.
27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
12th Night – back in the box?
January 5, 2009 at 5:28 pm (children, faith, family life)
I just loved these colours all together as I was packing away the tree decorations – and I realised I hadn’t taken any pictures of the tree over Christmas, so here’s the tree, back in the box. The poor tree is back in the garden, it’s SO cold out there I feel a bit sorry for it, it’s a bit of a shock even from our “on the cool side” house to the “below freezing” garden. I hope it grows well again this year, it’s had a lot of new growth since last Christmas.
The girls & I had an interesting conversation as we were putting away the nativity advent calendar, they were arguing about how many wise men there had been, Ruthy was adamant it was three, Kate equally sure there had been four. “Go & look it up” I suggested. Ruthy demurred (I have a feeling she knew what was coming!) Kate took the bible off the dresser and we looked up Matthew’s gospel, where we found that the number of Magi ( “that’s wise men,” I said, “yes mum I KNOW what Magi are, I’m not stupid”… – the ” durr” was implied! ) is not specified. We decided that the traditional three came about because of the three gifts named. They were quite thankful that they weren’t having to wait till tomorrow for Christmas though!
I’m always mindful of not packing Christmas back in the box along with the decorations at this time of year. I like remembering that the longer season of Christmas goes on until Candlemas, February 2nd, by which time Lent & Easter are in sight (though not this year as close as they were last year!)
As ever, as the shops clear up Christmas, out come the Easter eggs, while I dislike the commerciality ( is that a word?) and the constant need to be onto the Next Big Thing, it does me no harm to be reminded that Easter & Christmas are inextricably linked, and that the Newborn Christ of Christmas is the source of the new life of Easter.
new year…new?
January 2, 2009 at 10:54 pm (faith, family life, friends, journal)
January 1st is such an arbitrary date to start again or feel like things must cange from here on in – because our calendar changes then suddenly we’re all propelled into this idea that everything is going to be different, or we can start again. In truth we can do that any day of the year we like – One of the opening prayers in Morning Prayer says;
The night has passed and the day lies open before us; let us pray with one heart and one mind
and we are reminded in Lamentations 3:22-23;
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I always feel that September is more of a new year than January, it’s years and years of academic conditioning that’s done that, but also there is something about taking up the threads of life again after the summer months that resonates with people even if they are not tied to school terms either as a pupil, student, teacher or parent.
Often I find the days between Christmas & New Year really hard work, and this extends into New Year’s Eve & Day too, there is a peculiar kind of melancholy that can creep over one, I know it;s not just me because I’ve talked about it with friends too. This year it was wonderfully conspicuous by its absence, the whole holiday has been, though busy, also peaceful and restful. I wonder how much of it has to do with expectations? We had family here for Christmas, and had planned nothing for the days after and for New Year, we both felt that after this year we didn’t need to be planning a big dinner or a party or even leaving the house, it wasn’t going to matter if it was just us & Jools Holland on the 31st!
As it happened John & May called and said they were travelling back north then and could they come & stay over New Year, and it was lovely, the children got on well as ever, we ate well but not stressfully, we talked, we went for a walk yesterday. It was almost unplanned, and maybe all the better for it.
This doesn’t still explain the relaxed & peaceful approach to NY this year – I think that has more to do with being at peace with where I am and what I’m doing in life – sure it’s stressy ( essay deadlines….!) but it’s right where I’m supposed to be.
2008 has been a rough year in many ways, and also an amazingly brilliant one. It’s tempting to say; I hope 2009 is “more ordinary” or “better” or ” happier” but just because the numbers have clicked round once isn’t going to change anything, I can’t label a year. I just have to live each day whether it’s 31st December or January 1st, by His grace, and for His glory. That’s my challenge:-)
1 Timothy 6
October 13, 2008 at 11:12 am (faith, journal)
from Morning Prayer this morning
there is great gain in godliness combined with contentment; for we brought nothing into the world, so that we can take nothing out of it; but if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these. But those who want to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.
New Year, New Term, New Student…
October 11, 2008 at 10:45 pm (college, faith)
Having only heard tht I’d been recoomended for training in late June, and having a fairly busy summer with the family, I was still processing the reality of it all when September hit!! Slowly the information began to trickle in from college and thanks to the wonders of 21 C technology all of us new first years were able to talk and start to panic each other! It is a very strange experience to start work on a course with a distinct year group, with whom you know you are going to be working, but not to have met them yet, nor to have a First Day of Term!
One unit of the first module down, our first residential weekend was a fortnight ago, a beautiful sunny late September weekend in the perfect setting of Salisbury Cathedral Close. My previous four years of study 20 odd years ago, began in the not architecturally dissimilar surroundings of Cambridge, on similarly beautiful autumn days so it did feel familiar!
this is more or less the view of the cathedral from the front of college – from the north-east.
The weekend was great – very encouraging, and energising, time to start getting to know the others with whom we would be working for the next 3 years, and plenty of wondering exactly how we got there and pinching ourselves as it still didn’t seem real! Real it very much is though and I think we all left on the Sunday afternoon feeling ready to get on with the study and really enjoy the next few years as we prepare for what God is calling us to.
As a rather fitting finale to the weekend, 2 of my fellow students & I slipped into the start of the 750 year celebration of the consecration of teh Cathedral in 1258. The Archbishop of Canterbury had preached & presided that morning and in the afternoon he was due to consecrate the new font – which is a thing of incredible beauty & symbolism, in a special service. We knew we couldn’t stay for the whole service and indeed would not have attempted to as we’d been told it was ticket only and packed out – however we managed, with the help of some sympathetic stewards, to stand unobtrusively by the south door, hoping to see the processions – what we hadn’t realised that ++Rowan was making his entrance through the massive West doors, to where the choir and cathedral chapter had processed, we were literally yards away, right next to the offical film camera! It was quite a spectacular entrace, with trumpets, the choir singing and colour and amazing sound everywhere. Salisbury certainly were giving him a welcome!
Sadly we had to slope off then, but it was a fitting end to a fairly amazing weekend!
wool felt & silk piece for M’s ordination
June 30, 2008 at 10:40 am (Church, dyeing, faith, fibres, friends, sewing)
This was made with a wool felt base dyed with various acid dyes , I added silk dyed with same shades, stitched into with various threads & metalics, I printed text from the ordination liturgy onto fabric and incorporated with sheers. Ideally I’d have printed onto a sheer but I didn;t have any ( on shopping list now!) Dove is made from undyed silk ( and has been flattened by scanner!)
it was really hard to photograph or scan!! I mounted it onto foam board that was covered with black fabric. You can see a high resolution version by clicking through to flickr and then choosing ” all sizes”.
Send down the Holy Spirit….
June 29, 2008 at 10:02 pm (Church, faith, friends)
I love those words from the ordination service;
” Send down the Holy Spirit on your servant N
for the office and work of a priest in your Church.“
Not least because it was those words at the very first priesting of women in 1994 that God used to speak to me ( via the good old BBC) about what he wanted *me* to do too, and so here I am, preparing to start training to do just that.
Today was the priesting of a very special woman, M, who has been a real support to me over the last year, and in fact longer. she was the first person here that I spoke to about the possibility that I kind of might have been thinking that God was maybe possibly calling me to this too…! that was four years ago at the party after her ordination as deacon. Since I got serious about it last summer, she has been unfailingly supportive & encouraging. The service this morning in the Cathedral was fantastic , so full of joy and humour and God:-) I said to M afterwards that it was possibly the first ordination service that I have been to in ooh 20 years that I haven’t sat through arguing with God and myself! It was so lovely to be there knowing that I was in the right place on my journey, and to feel that peace – and also the excitement! The Cathedral was of course packed, even though there were only 8 to be ordained priest today. The sermon was excellent – 2 Corinthians 4 about being jars of clay. It was a great service, and it was also lovely to see some of the people who I’ve met with in the last year and to talk with them, that was very encouraging! One of them, who I had only had one meeting with back in January was so pleased I’d been recommended, and said how he’d felt at our meeting that it was the right thing for me! My vocations chaplain was also there and she was just fantastically encouraging too!
This evening M presided at communion for the first time, at our church, a full house, another very special service and a small party afterwards! Today was the first day that my recommendation had been officially announced too – I got a large space on the back of the pew leaflet !! so I had a lot of people wanting to talk to me about it! – it’s been a great day,
Slowly sinking in…
June 25, 2008 at 1:27 pm (faith, study, weather)
I had my formal letter confirming my place on the course for September today, I won’t hear anything more till mid August now, but I have Real Dates to put in the diary! I’m going to try & make the most of not *having* to do any reading or work until then now – maybe the sun will shine too 
I do have two talks to prepare in the next week or so though. One for the local school CU and one for church. I’d better get on with it while it’s cloudy then!
