I do some of my processing and journalling on paper, and some of it here, but probably most of it is in my head, composing blog posts that never make it, composing journal entries that I never really have time to write – but I think that’s still ok – the very existence of a journal and a blog is making me reflect and process and sift thoughts, ideas & feelings, even if they never make it to type or ink.
The last few weeks have been very much like that – there’s been so much going on, not just in my life, but in the lives of those around me. Hospitals, death, anniversaries, growing up, remembering, parenting,wondering,friendship, struggling, hoping – it’s all been in there. None of it would make much sense if I detailed it now, sometimes weeks or days or even years after the events. Lots of it I can’t blog about because it involves too much of other people. Some of that will make it to my paper journal. This post isn’t really about the “stuff” it’s about the process of processing. It’s quite a hard process sometimes, even when it’s only in my head I feel vulnerable and exposed. Current events can cause past events to freshen, old scabs to fall off – it’s a painful process too but a necessary one. Blog, or book or brain – it’s all good.